The Wife Who Reviled What’s Right, Scorned Her Head, and Abused Everyone in the Process

On December 29, 2014 my wife, Molly Votel Tanner, filed for divorce, citing the following reasons:

Essentially she’s saying, “My husband has lost his mind, joined a cult, and is a danger to his own children.” Pretty weighty, public allegations. If it’s true, she’s doing well to get herself and our children away from me. But what if it’s not? What if it’s an elaborate story she was telling as a smokescreen, and to simply get her way? We’ll see.

In her own words to me:

and in the following email:

“Ronnie you lost custody of the kids period!  Not bc they like country clubs, Christmas, Easter, church, ums, etc, you lost custody bc you are in a cult“

So there is the official record as she filed in court and in her own words. According to her I was in a “cult”. This conjures up images of strange matching outfits, abandoning family members, illegal gun stockpiling, leaders having child wives and so on. But none of that was happening so Molly had to resort to other tactics. I had made changes in everyday practical matters that she didn’t like, so she flipped it to “I was in a cult.”

Now, was I in a destructive cult as Molly claims? What was I doing that she should have cause to fear their safety? Did she actually fear for their safety? Can she say? Did I  abandon her and our children? What “little beliefs” was she referring to? What fault did she find with what I was hearing from “Victor Hafichuk and Paul Cohen” at The Path of Truth?

That’s the objective here, to lay out the facts as they actually happened and from records which were kept. You’ll see a complete picture of what transpired in Mobile told in the words and actions of those involved, including written records from those who have testified on my behalf.

My only recourse at this point is to make public the facts that most people haven’t been aware of. Will I be faulted and maligned for that, too? I know I will.

How it all started

In October of 2013, shortly after the birth of our fifth child, I ran across a website The Path of Truth following a Google search that I don’t recall.  I began to read the various articles, and shared some with Molly. On November 18, 2013 I sent her the following email, a section from a paper on Theophostic Prayer:

“For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you; but if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses” (Matthew 6:14-15).

You are not a prisoner of fear, or insecurity, or shame, because of what others did to you, by which you allowed their assessments or actions to define you, but rather because you do not forgive them their trespasses against you. And because you do not forgive them their trespasses against you, you are yet in your sins; you are still a perpetrator of evil towards others, and yourself. Your problem is not ever what others did to you, but what you do to others. It is not the circumstances that define you, but your reaction to those circumstances. When you go on in unforgiveness you have married yourself to the sin or evil committed on you, and therefore continue to reap from the same. You are no different than your perpetrators. You are one with them and carry on their work, even on yourself as the victim of your own unforgiveness. You can look good to others, trying so hard to be good, and cover over your evil, but you cannot defy your nature. It will manifest, and does for those with eyes to see.

If you do not receive your circumstances as from the hand of God, especially the evil done to you, it is God that you are not forgiving. He is the One Who sends all things your way. Yes, it sounds hard, and is hard. But it is true. HE IS GOD, and does all things.

“I am the LORD, and there is none else, there is no God beside me: I girded you, though you have not known Me: That they may know from the rising of the sun, and from the west, that there is none beside Me. I am the LORD, and there is none else. I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things” (Isaiah 45:5-7).

Part of His wrath, and the evil He sends, is that He determines people to believe lies. He consigns people to this judgment. Hear again, and be instructed in His ways, and not the false ways that men have presented of Him:

“… and with all deceit of unrighteousness in those who perish, because they did not receive the love of the truth, so that they might be saved. And for this cause God shall send them strong delusion, that they should believe a lie, so that all those who do not believe the truth, but delight in unrighteousness, might be condemned [judged]” (2 Thessalonians 2:10-12).

Do you hear? People believe a lie because they have already denied the truth. How then can they see truth, from which they have been cut off? They can’t. They need judgment on their ways, and repentance, not superficial “illumination.”

“Theophostic prayer” is nothing short of sorcery. Do you know what sorcery is? It is trying to get immediate results by man’s power or wisdom. And for a time it may appear to work. But I guarantee it will fail in the end, and make matters much worse, if not repented of and replaced with true submission to God.

“Theophostic prayer” is an unholy expression of the desire to have your cake and eat it too. It avoids the cross and preserves the flesh. It makes Jesus the ultimate self-help healing tool, which may be glorious in men’s sight, but is abominable in truth. It is a false “Jesus” which is conjured up by men, made in the image of man.

The work of the true Lord Jesus Christ is to make men into God’s image, which men have not known. It is His good pleasure to do this work, and to give His children the Kingdom of Heaven. Do not be deceived, evil communications do corrupt good manners. Put your trust in Him and not in the schemes of men who do a superficial work, which will not stand in the day of fire.

Molly responded:

Ouch!!!  Shit, I’m screwed.  That’s all I can say!

Sent from my iPhone

I’d like to ask the reader what Molly meant by her response. What did it indicate? Why did Molly consider herself “screwed” by what she was reading? What did she mean by “Ouch!!”? I take it she was convicted by the message. It was a confrontation for both of us as we had been subject to so many lies in our religious associations. She knew she was hearing the truth and it was unpleasant to hear. And contrary to her later accusations, I wasn’t being swept away by a cult, refusing to talk to her or our children. I heard something true that I had never heard before and she, as my wife, was the first person I told. In our experience it was a perfectly normal and natural thing to share things like this. She was well aware of this sort of material and that’s why she didn’t question me as to why I was sending it to her.

The message wasn’t there to condemn her or anyone else for that matter, no more than a doctor is condemning a patient when he gives a diagnosis. But, it always requires the hearer to receive what they are hearing in order to benefit from it. And that was what didn’t happen here. Molly heard what she needed, it hurt, and instead of embracing it, she turned from it and set herself against hearing any more of it. She would become determined to destroy anything and anyone that got in the way of her getting what she wanted. You’ll see the reality of it in the pages of this website.

I continued reading at the site, finding answers to many questions I had. The writings were clear, supported by plenty of Scriptures, and frankly I couldn’t argue with anything I was reading. I ran across a statement in one of the papers that said “all husbands are essentially following their wives, including those who profess to walk in the faith of Lord Jesus Christ.” This was a hard pill to swallow at first, but again, I couldn’t argue. I had long been subject to Molly, both by my own choice, and under threat of her verbal tirades towards me and our children when she didn’t get her way.

This wasn’t just my subjective opinion, or the words of a complaining husband who had a wife that nagged a little bit, or got after me for being a typical husband who needed help in all sorts of areas. After being with Molly for 15 years, Susan Votel, Molly’s mother, sent me the following email on April 22, 2010 (this was 3 years before my visiting The Path of Truth website).

After Molly told me today about the pill therapy she is on, I gave it a lot of thought;   once I absorbed it all, I realized I had been waiting for this for quite a long time but didn’t realize it.  Often, I had thought:  I wonder if Molly should be on some type a pill, but then would dismiss it. There were too many times that she was so quick to flair, and then crash later.  I think you also would agree that we three contributed some behavior to hormones, or an over stretched list of responsibilities, or some other source of explanation.  I’d be willing to bet the doctor saw in her from the statements she made, that its not a physical ailment, but rather her psychological make up.  She’s wound too tight too many times when not necessary, and loses it too often when not warranted…

…Self control is one thing, and frequently I’ve thought she does not have any under certain circumstances.   Looking closely, its more that at times she simply ‘explodes’ when its not warranted, ala chemical imbalance.   These are big words and frightening, however, there are levels and degrees of severity – she probably fits into the most mild form on the charts.   It is a wait and see period of time.  I think there is room-for-improvement, therefore, this just might be the answer;  its not a cop out;  its not the easier road;  it might be the solution to a situation that is not the norm and should be addressed responsibly with proven therapy.  Things done today impact the future;  however, if the limited inner circle is aware and quietly monitors the situations, things rarely get out of hand.  If all this plays out favorably, Molly will be the big winner feeling more even keeled and under control, but you also, plus the kids will benefit greatly…

…None of us are advocates of pill popping, but sometimes there are tools out there to be utilized in a responsible healthy positive manner.   (It does seem weird that your wife and my daughter would need some mental health help, but that’s possibly the facts and help is there to be tapped in to.

 Later.

This isn’t the sort of thing I would have ever wanted to share publicly. We had 4 children at the time and I knew it was challenging for her and frankly, though I would have preferred another solution, I was open to whatever would help her and selfishly give us some relief. But I look back and realize now it wasn’t a matter of stress or a busy lifestyle. The issue was that Molly had been raised to only get her way.  In Molly’s own words, she was catered to by her parents, all her siblings. She was literally raised to get her way.

Molly’s mom had witnessed Molly’s behavior in our home for many years. She described her as being “wound too tight,” and “[losing] it too often when not warranted.” You’ll see and hear some samplings below of what her mom describes.

With what I was hearing at The Path of Truth and seeing in the Scriptures, I realized I had been wrong to capitulate to Molly when I knew better, even if it temporarily soothed things around our home.  I needed to do right where I had the conviction, responsibility, and authority to do so. I spoke to her about this. It wasn’t the first time I had talked to her about her losing it when she didn’t get her way, but in the past I was often looking for her to understand and be able and willing to change instead of just accepting I had to do what was required of me and let the chips fall where they may. How was I supposed to stop her from repeatedly screaming at our kids and me? I suppose I could have taken the kids at that time, and left, but I simply didn’t know that was the right thing to do, nor was I prepared to do it. Now I knew better and a decision had to be made.

Back to Molly’s famous accusation:

“Ronnie you lost custody of the kids period!  Not bc they like country clubs, Christmas, Easter, church, ums, etc, you lost custody bc you are in a cult“

Did Molly present any evidence in court (or anywhere else) to support her claim that I was “in a cult”? It was a very clever accusation, one that gets people’s attention. You will see the divorce had nothing to do with being in a “cult” and everything to do with Molly not getting her way with these things. “Cult” is code for “not giving me what I demand of you, regardless of whether it’s right or wrong.”

1) Christmas

Molly contests that Christmas wasn’t an issue or part of her reasoning in filing for divorce or denying me custody of our children, even though it ended up in the court transcript. Here’s what happened as it relates to Christmas.

I had read another paper, That Devilish Spirit of Christmas, and a light bulb came on. Christmas simply wasn’t a true Christian celebration and nowhere in the Scriptures are believers commanded to keep it. On the contrary, Christians are told to abstain from it. Again, I couldn’t argue. I had known some of the historical facts about Christmas and would bring them up in the past, wondering if we should be celebrating it, but ultimately I’d go along with it, not really knowing any better. Sure, I enjoyed seeing my children excited about receiving gifts, and I enjoyed giving them gifts, but I didn’t much appreciate the hangover and discontentment I saw it bringing them. Also, the excessive spending, obligatory family gatherings, and meaningless religiosity were all marks that this holiday had nothing to do with Jesus Christ. At a minimum I knew it wasn’t required, and I was beginning to see it was evil.

I spoke to Molly and our children, showed them the evidence in the Scriptures, explained the things I shared above, and told them I wouldn’t be celebrating Christmas any longer and I wouldn’t be permitting it in our home. Was I not well within my rights as a husband and father to do this? According to Molly, I wasn’t. I understood Molly having a hard time with this and that this was a custom we had both known since birth. And of course most kids like Christmas..that was the whole point of the celebration in its evil origins, to worship children. But given the evidence, and that both of us professed Christian faith, was this unreasonable to review and consider? Did this warrant her accusing me of being some sort of monster and unfit to raise my own children? Her reaction was demonstrating the very reality of what I had been reading, that Christmas is devilish and has a grip on people that they’re naive about.

My court testimony regarding Christmas, Thanksgiving and Easter during cross examination by Molly’s attorney:

Why did Molly have Christmas, Thanksgiving and Easter brought up if that wasn’t her cause for divorce? Where was evidence that I was in a “cult”? Wasn’t Molly, by condemning and excluding me because I wouldn’t keep a religious practice of “Christmas,” the one in a cult? Why was I being “kicked out” and kept from my children because I wouldn’t participate in a religious celebration, a total of a few hours worth of time, a few days a year? A whole marriage with 5 kids, in the garbage unless I complied. Wow! Talk about a cult that excludes family members!

Around 8 months later, during the summer of 2014, Molly left for several weeks to stay at her parents condo with our children while I stayed in Mobile. She had become entirely hardened at this point and was unwilling to even be around me.  We happened to be moving at this time and normally we’d work together sorting things out, getting rid of some stuff, keeping other things. In this case I was left with the responsibility and task of doing it myself. While I was sorting through our storage area I ran across a Christmas tree and ornaments. I put them in the ‘throw away’ pile and got rid of them. When Molly returned to Mobile with our children the house was nearly packed. She asked me where the $100 artificial Christmas tree was. When I told her I threw it away she started her video camera and began asking me questions. Near the end of her interrogation I grabbed the phone out of her hand. I knew she was up to no good and I wasn’t going to sit there any longer with her treating me like some arrested criminal. Her reaction over me getting her phone was a glimpse of her “losing” it like her mother described via email.

So Molly tells the courts that I’m a danger to my own children while Molly is found threatening our children like a raging monster. She says, “You come over here and get this phone from him or I’ll hurt you!”

So Christmas and its paraphernalia wasn’t a factor in why she filed for divorce? Then why the reaction over a Christmas tree? Why the need to record and question me about it if it wasn’t an issue? Shouldn’t she have been focusing on the evil things I was doing in this so-called cult? She had access to anything and everything I was doing, was welcome to talk to anyone I was talking to, but that wasn’t the issue.

3) “Church“

Molly said that church had nothing to do with divorce and that it was only because I was “in a cult.” In her court testimony on October 14, 2015, Molly described how she saw things with me after she and I visited The Path of Truth:

Was that the case? Was anyone against her, or was she against me, and more importantly, anyone who spoke the truth to her or didn’t give her what she wanted?

Molly participated in a couple of these online meetings in early 2014. A short portion from February 8, 2014 is included here:

Molly says:
I’m a child of God who loves me very much. You will never convince me I do not know Him.  I agree I am selfish at times. But I am not a spoiled child

Paul says:
If she were the child of God she says she is, then she wouldn’t be behaving this way

Paul says:
She would know good from evil, false from true

Paul says:
You haven’t had this testimony: Likewise, wives, be in subjection to your own husbands, so that if any do not obey the Word, they may also be won without the Word by the conduct of the wives, having witnessed your chaste behavior in the fear of God.  (1 Peter 3:1-2 MKJV)

Molly says:
Paul I absolutely agree. I am not a perfect vessel and am seeking God daily to show me how I can show God’s love to Ronnie

Paul says:
You know nothing of God’s love

Paul says:
In fact, you despise His love

Paul says:
You are a law unto yourself in lawlessness

Victor says:
Molly, this isn’t about ganging up on you

Molly says:
I know it’s not

Victor says:
Looks like it, maybe, but not the intent or desire

Paul says:
I’m glad to hear you say that, Molly

Victor says:
Yes

Victor says:
and may the Lord show you more

Victor says:
I would want Him to be gracious to you

Molly says:
He is gracious to me

Victor says:
and He has brought His grace to your house by Ronnie and what he has heard from us

Molly says:
His grace has already been at our house

Victor says:
Yes, He has been gracious, and now to move on to obedience and fellowship with Him

Was I (or anyone else I had to do) against my wife and children or was it Molly that set herself against me (without just cause), and worse yet, manipulated our children to join her? I wasn’t against her. I cared about her as my wife and friend as I saw it, naive as I was. No one was trying to split us up. As the chat transcript shows, she was being encouraged to go towards God and turn from her evil, childish behavior described by her own mother.

In terms of “church” attendance as you might call it the sum total of my time that I spent was each Saturday for several hours in the afternoon, and from our own house. During this time Molly spent many more days a week away from the house meeting with friends, attending prayer meetings with Pam Hanes, letting everyone know I had “lost” my mind and was ignoring my family.

After gaining access to Molly’s phone I saw the sorts of things she was saying and doing.

On Saturday, April 5, 2014, while I was online at one of the meetings, Molly sent the following texts to her sister, Tracy Votel:

Molly: “Hate him.”

Tracy: “Im sure Saturday brings out the big time freak n him…i’m around all nite if you feel up to calling…”

Molly: “Fucking douche bag freak“

Molly: “He’s [a] fucking sick bastard“

Tracy: “Yes he is! What crazy thing is he doing now?“

Molly: “Its Saturday. Moonie friends. I’m the bad guy. I can’t stop pounding and making fun“

There it is, in her own words. No evidence. No restraint. No shame. No concern what influence she was having on 5 young children. How was I sick? And what was I doing? And where was she? Spending time with the children? No, she’s up in her room with the door closed cursing me to her sister.

Here’s the issue: I was hanging out with the folks that had gently confronted Molly and she wanted nothing to do with them, nor did she want me having anything to do with them. Her gig was up. They were encouraging me to make decisions based on right and wrong, not what felt best at the moment, and not what Molly dictated. It wasn’t a matter of being opposed to Molly but of being set on making decisions that I was ultimately responsible for.

The following Saturday, on April 12, 2013 Molly sent the below text to a friend of ours, Johanna Bullard:

Molly: “I just broke the computer screen!! Its official. He’s a freak. William crying bc he won’t spend any [time] with him.”

Here’s what was going on. Molly sent my son William to me to ask me to throw the ball with him while I was still at the meeting. She was setting me up, and using our son as bait. When I told him he needed to wait (which of course happens with children almost every day), Molly interrupted me and told William I was “ignoring” him for “other people,” and that I didn’t care about him. William became upset, crying, and Molly consoled him, telling him what I had done was so “mean” and evil.

Molly did this kind of thing with our children hundreds, if not thousands of times. When I was either not able, or not willing to do something when and how Molly (or our children) wanted, Molly capitalized on the opportunity and included the children in her case against me. “See, kids, your dad is in a cult! He picks Victor and Paul over you. If they weren’t in your lives you’d have all these things!” Her exact words:

“The kids are stressed out about school next year bc they know you wont pay for it!  They are stressed out bc you have told Them Paul and Victor come before them.”

It’s natural for a child to stress over something like changing schools. That’s where parents come in to teach, support, and discipline them. Molly’s parents had moved her across the country at a vulnerable age, leaving friends and school. I moved states around the same time. But in each case our parents were together on it, so we went along with it. But here we had a mother who was a child herself, only caring about what she wanted and to hell with the truth about our financial situation as determined by her husband and facts.

Did Johanna know what was happening? Did she even care? Was she aware of two hours of one on one time I had already spent with William earlier in the morning? Of course Molly wouldn’t tell anyone that.

Johanna’s response? She said, “Good!”

Why did Molly break the computer screen? What was it I was reading, hearing, or doing at these meetings that was any harm to her or our children? Would she say?

According to the following message to a friend in Birmingham, Sarah Squires, “The website [The Path of Truth] is horrible. It’s all about confessing sin very legalistic.”

Wow! Confessing sins…soooo horrible! Now we’re seeing into what was really giving her trouble. Isn’t sin precisely the reason Jesus Christ came and was killed by sinners? The whole world is troubled by that very thing – sin without confession and repentance. And what does the Bible say about how we deal with sin?

“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9 MKJV).

“Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working” (James 5:16 ESV).

And what does this say of her spiritual mentor, Pam Hanes, that Molly would describe “confessing sin” as very legalistic?

3)“Country Clubs”

Molly said cancelling a country club had nothing do with her divorcing me and her seeking full custody of our children. Let’s review the evidence.

In 2009, against my own judgment, I reluctantly joined a country club. I didn’t believe it was a good decision but chose to do it anyway, to give something to Molly and my children that they wanted. And frankly, I enjoyed the nice service and place for my kids to swim and meet their friends. I’m sure I’m not alone in this sort of choice. Husbands do it all the time, and in a way, it’s understandable to do things for another that you don’t necessarily want for yourself. However, I had convictions it wasn’t right to do. It wasn’t responsible, or moral. But, I gave in. In essence, I neglected what I believed to be true – that it was an irresponsible use of money (amongst other things), and instead conceded to what Molly wanted. During the approval process for our membership I emailed Molly:

you really sure you want this..I‘m warning you ahead of time.

————-Forwarded Message————
From: Lee Robinson Jr
Date: Wed, Jan 7, 2009 at 11:06 AM
Subject: The Long and Winding Road
To: Ronnie Tanner <rtanner22@gmail.com>

On your CCM application….
We need to meet two more board members…..John Brooks is one and he
wants me to ask you when it would convenient to meet for an afternoon
toddy at the club?

Sorry…but the process is being managed by our wives.

Lee

I was apprehensive about this decision and instead of simply deciding against the membership, I went ahead with it, “warning” Molly about it. Why was I warning her? It wasn’t her responsibility, but mine. Perhaps the warning was instinctive, knowing that it wouldn’t end well. That warning was for me and I didn’t heed it.

The club was now costing us thousands of dollars each year whether we used it or not. Also, the environment, particularly as it related to the swimming pools and scantily dressed women, wasn’t something I needed to be exposed to, nor my teenage girls or young boys. I knew I needed to make a decision and it wasn’t looking like I’d be getting support from Molly.

Is it so strange for a man who is entirely responsible for his family’s financial situation to make decision to cut back on expenses? I know it isn’t. Is it immoral for a father to make moral decisions on behalf of his family?

I spoke to Molly about the membership and told her we needed to cancel it. Below is the email I sent her on Dec 6, 2013:

We need to consider getting out of the club. I’m not saying “I’m doing it” but we are paying for that with debt. You and I do not use and if so very rarely and tennis can easily go to the Tennis Center.  I’ve got a $1,200 bill to pay and it’s being paid with a line of credit. My opinion is we need to get out and sell our bond and get the $4k out of that as well. We do not need to discuss this as I know you do not want to get out. So, just think on it. I will be paying the bill for right now.

I talked to Molly about this in person and reminded her that we had five children, with many expenses that I was responsible for, and this didn’t need to remain one of them. I told her it wasn’t her place to make the final decision and that she needed to deal with the fact that controlling me with temper tantrums wasn’t going to cut it any longer. A few days later she sent me the following emails:

I am sorry where I have tried to control u.  I will begin to ask The Lord where I do and show me how to not.

Sent from my iPhone

If we are in a conversation and u feel I’m beginning to
Control u could u please let me know gently as u can. Than maybe we can learn where I’m doing it

Sent from my iPhone

Did Molly mean what she said? I hoped so, for her sake, mine, and our children, but we’d see. By April, 2014, after much contemplation, I sent the cancellation letter to the club and alerted Molly. She forwarded the email to my sister:

I’m shaking mad

Sent from my iPhone

Molly was now “shaking mad,” a reaction I had seen many times before when she didn’t get her way, even in the most trivial of matters. Was she shaking made because of some evil I was doing or learning from “The Path of Truth”? No, no, no. She was having a literal adult temper tantrum and she said it in her own words. She told herself that I wasn’t thinking straight and that I was being influenced by this “group” that was brainwashing me. All a bunch of crap. She just never banked on me standing up to her. Was I being influenced? Sure I was. Jesus Christ was giving me the grace and power to do what I could never do before. It was liberating. Like He says “Whom the Son sets free is free indeed.” But He also says “You will be hated by those of your own household.” It was so unpleasant, but yet I knew I had been given something very special.

On October 14, 2015 she testified in court regarding the country club. Molly’s attorney, Ken Nixon, asked the questions, with Molly answering:

Molly says I “gave up the membership without any consult.” The records show I talked to her about this, but who should a man consult with when it comes to a decision he is ultimately responsible for? Molly’s definition of “consulting” meant getting her permission. She told all of my friends  (David McKean in particular) that I had cancelled the club without her knowledge and that she was rudely made aware of this while eating one day at the club. What a story! What a way to get folks pissed off at a guy.

Why was Molly bringing up the country club membership if it wasn’t an issue? Or was it simply a legal maneuver to hopefully get a favorable financial judgment? Why wasn’t she describing, in detail, how I was in a destructive “cult” as she claimed? Why would our children be “devastated” if they couldn’t be members of a country club? Was it their world that “was being completely shattered,” or hers? We’ve already seen where Molly was “shaking mad,” not our children. And if the country club wasn’t the issue, why did she pay nearly $15,000 to rejoin immediately, against my decision it was financially irresponsible?

4) “UMS-Wright”

Molly says UMS (private school) had nothing to do with our divorce and custody of our children.  Long before 2013 rolled around we had spoken about our decision to send our children to UMS. We were in agreement that if finances ever became an issue we’d simply withdraw them and send them somewhere else. That day came when we found out Molly was pregnant with our 5th child and my business had a slow down.

Molly had UMS brought up in our trial:

Why was this brought up if it wasn’t an issue? Molly sought tuition payment in the divorce complaint:

On May 9, 2014, well before the trial, I had emailed Molly about our financial situation. Applicable portions regarding the expenses related to UMS tuition are included:

…First, I want you to know I want good for you and our children. I desire them to be educated and in a safe environment. I like UMS in that respect and appreciate what we’ve received there in terms of education.

 …we’ve experienced a pretty decent blow financially going from approximately $4,000/week in average consistent pay (this is the $200K we lived off of.. not including the extra $100k we averaged over and above through sales of businesses, home sales etc) to now $1,350/week in pay. This is a 66% drop in income. Pretty substantial.

….Tuition is obviously like pulling a rabbit out of a hat. While I have some savings, to use this for tuition is simply presumptuous, foolish and an invitation towards more of what we’ve already gone through.

….If we were to stay where we are in terms of expenses we’d be spending $100,000 more than I make right now in a year. I have to pay the rent today of $2,500 and I have 1,300 in our checking account. So, where does it come from ? Savings. When you use up all that you have each week and I have to transfer money in it comes from savings. I buy groceries out of savings. I pay insurance each year out of savings. Its draining constantly.

….All that being said I’m prepared to pay for Addy and Emma for next year. Half will come from the money in my account and half from your account. I would like to propose getting some signatures that we have already divided our cash assets and what we have split is what we have split and no double jeopardy in the event you leave in 6 months. You said you would do this so lets do it.

…You’ve made it absolutely impossible for me to function by demanding/expecting all kids go to UMS, stay in Springhill and act as if nothing has happened. Your in denial still.

…For now, while I explore and try and build a new business Ellie and William can be home-schooled for one year. They are both very ahead and are smart and I’ll be glad to help 2 hours per day. From what I’ve read its a 4 hour a day commitment.  During this time we will find out if my income will increase. If it does, then great we’ll look into sending them back the next year. If it doesn’t then I would have put everyone at jeopardy by wasting the assets I’ve been given and entrusted with to oversee my family.

…Are you willing to go to a third party financial counselor to have them weigh in on our CURRENT situation?

Ronnie

Molly didn’t respond to my email. She had already contacted her parents and told them I was in a cult, going around my back to seek their financial support.

On Apr 1, 2014, at 7:41 AM, Susan Votel (Molly’s mom) wrote to Molly:

……up early this morning  – in bed last night by 10;   just wondering how YOU slept last night and what your mind in like today.   Yesterday was a roller coaster day for you – emotionally, mentally, and physically;  haven’t even asked …who are the 2 sick kids;  hope today they are better.   The checkbook is out on top of my dresser waiting for your directions;  do consider however, that Ronnie be allowed to commit to the down payment for all 4 (knowing when the bigger tuition is due soon we’d be there for the ‘swing loan'(?)  If he agrees to be financially responsible and involved…that to me is a sign that the ‘old Ronnie’ still exits;  if not, that might be a sign of:  far gone!  It also sets up a pattern that you are not totally responsible for the kids….he’s to be financially involved (by law) and cannot become a ‘dead beat dad’.   With his new found happiness – there is the reality of supporting his kids.  (Keep wondering if some of his new life is also a form of ‘escapism’ brought on by hum drum life and LOTS of financial pressure.

On Tue, Apr 1, 2014 at 7:49 AM, Molly wrote to her mother:

W and Emma. I’m fine. He’s angry at me bc he knows I’m proceeding forward. He needs to be. As far as school I don’t want to bring it up right now bc when he gets “cult” angry he does things spiteful. I have clearly taken a stand and he doesn’t like that.

From: Susan Votel
Date: April 1, 2014, 8:08:54 AM CDT
To: Molly
Subject: Re: ….this morning….

…..hold your own; its maybe about time HE gets angry, and YOU don’t!!! With more of a life style like this….you just wonder how long this new found ‘happiness’ of his will last. Perhaps for him this is the beginning of a ‘reality-check’. Don’t fear him or protect him….speak to the necessary serious issues such as his financial responsibility; this subject will last forever, regardless if you’re still under the same roof….might as well learn how to bite-the-bullet and face it head on now. Maybe if he hits rock-bottom, and can’t handle life…he’ll seek quality help. Think this is called that tough-love syndrome we all refer to, but never have had to practice; Ronnie has NO idea how many people are there to assist him (his parents, all of us, and some of your friends); unfortunately, he prefers to live alone in his lala world not needing anybody…..at least for right now til he has a shock treatment!!!

Molly had withheld essential facts from her parents while painting a picture of me as a brainwashed cult member. That’s so much more convenient then telling her mom she isn’t getting her way.

And what happened to: “But having food and clothing, we will be content with that. But those who are determined to be rich fall into a temptation and a snare and many foolish and harmful lusts, such as drown men in ruin and destruction” (1 Timothy 6:8-9 WEB)? And: “Owe no one anything, except to love one another; for he who loves another has fulfilled the Law” (Romans 13:8 MKJV)?

She was claiming to be following and hearing from the Lord Jesus Christ, so why were these things so foreign to her? What was she learning from Pam Hanes? I’ll tell you – how to control and manipulate your husband 101.

5) “Etc.”

Molly brought up other items in our divorce trial such as claiming I started eating organic food as a result of “joining a cult.” Is eating clean food and trying to improve the health of your family an offense worth splitting up a family over?

After years of asthma, migraine headaches, lethargy, sinus infections, and acid reflux, my health had already improved as a result of a better diet. What parent wants these sorts of things to come on their children? I knew they’d be heading for those sorts of problems if we didn’t change our course. The authors at The Path of Truth own an organic farm and introduced me to the harmful effects of pesticides and GMO’s in food. I looked into it and the evidence was compelling. So, I started eating organic food and providing it for our family. Molly knew organic was better – she was the one who introduced organic milk to our family. But she wouldn’t be having anything from anyone who had told her like it is. It was a classic cutting off your own nose to spite your face.

Was I to sit around and just feed my own children, my own flesh and blood, poisonous food? What kind of idiot would do that? It’s one thing to not know, but I knew better.

Why were my convictions about food, which were based on personal evidence, not only wrong, but grounds for divorce and loss of custodial rights? Isn’t it more accurate to say that by coming against sound principles of health and economics, Molly is the one whose brain had been soiled in a cult?

Summary

If Christmas, the Country Club, private school, church, and introducing organic food to my family weren’t her reasons for divorce, why did she make a case about these things? Surely she could have pointed to the things I was doing that were so evil and worthy of her fearing for her children’s safety. But were there any?

What was Molly’s agenda? Why was she so vicious? What was with her insistence about me being in a “cult”? Molly had set up a fake Facebook profile named “Gretchen Woodley” in order stalk and question folks without revealing her identity. To this day in 2022 she continues to stalk and contact people around the globe that she thinks has anything to do with “The Path of Truth.” You’ll see more of that later. Some folks were discussing this question about Molly and her reactions. Victor Hafichuk had this to say:

Ronnie, this is a remarkable person, your wife Molly. Now I’d like to say what I see with you and her.

Marilyn asked the question: “Why is Molly so intent on discrediting Ronnie?” I gave Marilyn the answer. Molly has been raised from childhood to have her way and to get and keep anything she wants. As her husband, you became her possession. She took over your life. You’ve been her doll, toy, pet, servant, slave – and she has worked to keep you under her full control, subtly or otherwise.

Every once in a while, people and circumstances would come along to indirectly challenge that ownership. You would hear and believe things that would conflict with Molly and her slavish ownership of you. She has jealously possessed you and has spared nobody, including you, in maintaining that ownership. When others happen to influence you in ways that mess with her goods and which disturb her comfort zone, she reacts violently, as a spoiled brat would, towards them and you. Nobody gets any mercy, not even you, her possession.

It’s much like opposing parties having a tug-of-war over something that breaks or tears and one party would just as soon see something ruined as preserved, as long as the other doesn’t get it. This includesyour children, like Addy, as Molly has demonstrated. Solomon’s judgment of the two harlots comes to mind.

Molly has ruled, seduced, used, misused and abused you. Every once in a while, you might get a glimpse of light and attempt a bid for freedom only to be terribly manipulated and prevented in various ways with psychobabble, seduction – intellectually, emotionally, socially, religiously, sexually, and in any way at her disposal.

She calls us a “cult.” Ronnie, Molly is the “cult,” ruling you with all the tricks at her disposal to control you in every way she can. Obviously, she will stop at nothing. She has even condemned you as the fool who falls for worshipping others, but the fact is she wants you to worship her and her alone. She is a very jealous god who will not share you with anyone else except on her own selfish terms.

If you happen to take an interest that is not of her liking, she then classifies you as a weak-minded, demon-possessed, childhood-abused victim that is vulnerable to other influences, not considering her own vicious control of you. I’m not denying you haven’t had your weaknesses and problems, as we all have, but those are not the issue, I assure you – I want you to know this for your sake and to not doubt yourself and especially God and what He is doing for you now. Molly calls you demon-possessed and other vile things, but she is looking in the mirror and you need to stop doubting what you’ve been given and more importantly, stop believing her lies and succumbing to her control.

Ronnie, you have needed deliverance, not from yourself or from falsehood, darkness and confusion only, but from Molly, as well. God grant you to finally see through her prison, and to stand strong in faith, trusting all the way to freedom in Christ Jesus.

As I’ve said more than once, you’ve been given to see, hear, believe and to understand from the Lord. You need to continue steadfastly to believe and not allow her to cause you to doubt the Lord and stymy you. Do not give an inch to her in any way.

These are the things I see. There is a great fire trying you, but it is proportionate to God’s call on your life.

Tell me if I’m right or wrong. Let others tell us what they see. Ronnie, it would be so disappointing if you were to succumb to the enemy. I dearly hope it doesn’t happen; however, I can’t make things happen for you. Who am I but a man? I’m not God, and He calls on you to believe Him, to love and obey Him.

Repenting of worshipping and believing your wife and doing her bidding, the Lord will show you through to the Promised Land of True Freedom, the Kingdom of Heaven, to peace and joy and righteousness in the Lord Jesus Christ, Who gave Himself for you.

Faith in and fear of Molly is your problem. You’ve known and understood the truth given you from the Lord and may you continue to believe without wavering. Take up your cross, extricate yourself as the Lord leads and all will be well. He’s faithful, always.

Victor

Molly’s Messages

Below are some samples of texts Molly sent friends and family over the course of the first half of 2014. You can see whether she provided any evidence of wrongdoing on my part or showed genuine concern for the welfare of her husband and family. You tell me if this is the sort of stuff that comes from a wife that even remotely cares about her husband and family.  And that goes for all those that heard her and said nothing.

This one to Whitney Barnett – the wife of a friend at the time. Keep in mind, these are all supposed Christians in the community.

Molly: “Just called Ronnie a pussy! A chicken p[ussy]! Told him v and p [Victor Hafichuk and Paul Cohen] are giving it to him in the rear“

Whitney Barnett: “Ok I just died out laughing.. what was his response?!?“

Was this Molly’s idea of being a Christian woman? A godly wife?

Molly had previously said: “I’m a child of God who loves me very much. You will never convince me I do not know Him.” Is this an example of that love?

Speaking to her sister, Tracy Votel, Molly says, “I said I hope you enjoy getting screwed up the ass because this is what these men are doing to you. I said, you aren’t a man your a big fat insecure chicken“

Molly: “Yes. Sorry. Just lost my voice screaming obscenities at Ronnie“

Molly: “Mike and Pat (other partners in Pam Hanes’ ministry that Molly was receiving counsel from) said he [Ronnie] had a spirit of antichrist and they told me I have to leave!!! If he continues down this road he will hurt me“

Minutes later, Molly sent another text with the same message intended for Aimee Robinson and one other individual.

Molly: “Mike and pat just called. I’m not suppose to do anything to provoke this demon!! I can’t pray. It will set him off. I’m so sorry“

So Mike and Pat were worried about Molly provoking me? Based on what? Wasn’t Molly the one that needn’t be provoked? Did Mike and Pat ever meet with me or ask me about what was happening? No, they didn’t, although I had emailed Mike to setup a meeting with him. You can read that correspondence here.

Time after time I was looking to meet with anyone who had a problem or expressed concern, yet where were those people? While I was being accused of being in a cult and abandoning my family I was being abandoned by those who supposedly cared for me. It was an amazing thing to experience.

More communication with Molly’s sister, Tracy:

Molly: “I’m going to fucking take them all down“

Molly: “I’m moving the kids to Minnesota as far from them all as possible. Ronnie can move his moonie ass and live alone up there.“

Molly: “I will go for 100 percent legal custody and supervised visits. He told me one time if I ever tried to take the kids from him he would run with them. Joking or not I will tell the lawyer that“

In other words, Molly would tell her lawyer anything she needed to get her way, and to hell with the truth or what was best for our children. That’s precisely what she ended up doing in our divorce trial.

Molly’s Fake Identities

Molly started creating fake identities on Facebook and contacting people she didn’t know in other states, trying to stir up trouble and find fault with those associated with The Path of Truth website. She had a full website with pages of personal testimony but she simply couldn’t find anything. Below, as “Holly Brittiney” she messaged the mother of a friend Victor’s (author of The Path of Truth) son.

Did Molly think or care about these people and what effect her accusations had on them? Why was she hiding her true identity?

On December 18, 2015, after we were divorced Molly created another fake identity, “Mena Sirko.” She contacted the girlfriend of a man who had visited The Path of Truth and was sharing their writings on Facebook.

The most widely used of Molly’s fake identities was Gretchen Woodley. Molly used this account to start a conversation with several people, posing as someone interested in things written at The Path of Truth and trying to extract “dirt” from those she spoke to.

You can see what she did with this account here.

September, 2014, Molly Contacts Rachel Bernstein from www.FreedomofMind.com

Molly contacted a “cult expert” to hopefully deprogram me and bring me back to my senses (back into her grip). I met with Rachel Bernstein via phone conference twice and was then asked to fly to California to meet with her. I told Molly I was willing, but when I asked some questions of Rachel to help me understand why traveling across the country was necessary, she wouldn’t answer. She became defensive and called off any future meeting, yet blamed me for being “like a teenager” about the whole thing.

What does it say to you that I was willing to meet with any and all of those Molly sought and counseled with to get me to concede that her way was right, whereas she wouldn’t listen to or reason with those who counseled me? Who is in a cult?

You can read the full email exchange between Rachel, Molly and me here.

October 2, 2014 Eric Johnson Emails Molly

Email to Molly’s parents, Richard and Susan Votel

Near the end of 2014, 10 days before Molly filed for divorce, I wrote to Molly’s parents, Richard and Susan Votel. After I got access to Molly’s phone (when she was interrogating and recording me) I had saw the emails she was sending her mother, and knew these things needed to be addressed. They were supporting Molly’s course of action, and I was sure they didn’t know the full story, not that the full story would change their mind. This was their child, and the fruit of their parenting. On that note, Molly had told me she was never disciplined. No spankings as a child, and essentially catered to. When she didn’t get her way she just threw fits until her parents gave in.

Mr. and Mrs Votel,

I’ve contemplated sending this over to you both for some time now. I foolishly was still more concerned thinking you might see this as ‘stirring the pot’. The reality is it is not. This is about the Molly’s well being and the well-being of our children. I’m not aware of what you all know, other than what I’ve seen with my own eyes in emails.

According to the emails I’ve seen from Molly with Mrs Votel there is no shortage of speculations and lies she has sent your way, and due to your disadvantage of not hearing the other side, along with Molly being your daughter, you have apparently believed it. I don’t condemn you for this but know you’ve been fooled, as hard as that might be to hear as her parents.

Know this – I’m not here defending myself, seeking to win you over, or seeking to stop Molly from filing divorce. I do want you to know the truth though.

What you both need to know is Molly is a tyrant ; a true spoiled, contentious, destructive brat. This is not about spiritual differences, or all this nonsense talk about ‘cults’.  I’ve enabled this for many years, thinking to ‘keep the peace’, be the martyr “nice guy” while being eating alive within through bitterness and resentment.  However, this is not about me right now, but about Molly.

Molly knows no bounds to exert her energies and efforts to slander and destroy me , my relationship with our children, and any relationships I have with anyone I have ever known, including my extended family. Her goal is to regain control of our home, which she has held, in subtle ways for many, many years. I’m to blame there, for sure, not knowing better and when I did was too fearful to deal with it. My faults were continually pointed out. I had too “dysfunctional of an upbringing” or was “socially inept”, “passive aggressive”, “not fulfilling my potential”, all of which contained some truth.

Eric, my brother in law, wrote the attached letter to Molly back in October. This was after many months of him and my sister Tami, hearing her side of things for countless hours. Molly has confided in them. We both had a relationship with Eric and Tami for many years and have enjoyed it. Not long ago Eric reached out to me and we visited a few times, reconnecting a bit and giving a sort of report to the updates involving Molly and her assertions of me. What he came to find was very much different than what had been presented. What he found was that I had basically, regardless of the source, been given to stop putting up with her control for the first time, and because of it, was being maligned, criticized, slandered and anything else she could come up with.

Here is an excerpt from an email you, Mrs. Votel, sent Molly:

“The checkbook is out on top of my dresser waiting for your directions;  do consider however, that Ronnie be allowed to commit to the down payment for all 4 (knowing when the bigger tuition is due soon we’d be there for the ‘swing loan'(?)  If he agrees to be financially responsible and involved…that to me is a sign that the ‘old Ronnie’ still exits;  if not, that might be a sign of:  far gone!  It also sets up a pattern that you are not totally responsible for the kids….he’s to be financially involved (by law) and cannot become a ‘dead beat dad’. ”

Please, please tell me what you’ve personally seen or heard from me that makes you come to these conclusions? When did I need to be ‘allowed’ to commit to the down payment for my children? Really?! What possibly could Molly have said to bring you to such a conclusion?  A “dead beat dad”? Wow. Please, do tell.  “Far gone!”? Yes, certainly from Molly’s clutches and control. What makes either of you think I need the “law” to be involved?

I’d be glad to meet with either or both of you. If not, that is fine as well. I have no compulsion or need to discuss any more than what is here. I also have no ill will towards either of you.

Ronnie

First, Molly’s dad responded:

Ronnie, your approach to communicate & the attached content is offensive & repugnant to me as a parent, grandparent and father-in-law.
Any future such communications will not generate a response

Richard H. Votel

My response:

 

Mr. Votel,

Perhaps you might consider why it is offensive and repugnant to you.  My approach, while I’m sure could always use some refining, is simply to relay the facts for the sake of the truth.

As to the content, it is offensive and repugnant, particularly before God and also detrimental to the well being of Molly, Tracy, Sarah Squires, Addy and the rest of my children, Mrs. Votel, and, as you see now, yourself.

My intention is not to offend for the sake of offending but I also know the truth always offends those that do not believe it, and there is no escaping that fact, as is evident here with your response. However, it will serve its purpose for you and all involved, eventually.

Consider what Mrs. Votel says of me here:

“Perhaps for him this is the beginning of a ‘reality-check’.   Don’t fear him or protect him….speak to the necessary serious issues such as his financial responsibility;  this subject will last forever, regardless if you’re still under the same roof….might as well learn how to bite-the-bullet and face it head on now.  Maybe if he hits rock-bottom, and can’t handle life…he’ll seek quality help.  Think this is called that tough-love syndrome we all refer to, but never have had to practice;  Ronnie has NO idea how many people are there to assist him (his parents, all of us, and some of your friends);  unfortunately, he prefers to live alone in his lala world not needing anybody…..at least for right now til he has a shock treatment!!!”

and from Molly of my parents:

“I will be honest. I’m really angry with his parents at this point. They were shitty parents and still have their heads buried. Like just make it go away. If I have revenge for anyone its them.“

Also, Mrs Votel says of this situation as it relates to you:

“I have delayed your father’s info talk for now;  it would only have been the headlines anyway with no deep details, examples, etc.  He doesn’t need those, (and takes his cue from me and what I think.)  If I just say:  Given the circumstances, its all okay.  He then would say…are you sure?, and then say: Okay (and go back to his world!)  Also – you are VERY correct in protecting Ronnie’s reputation and dignity….he’s earned that for many, many years, so the less said to anybody the better. “

Mrs. Votel, do you have anything to say to these comments of yours? What of Eric’s letter? I tend to believe part of your comments are based off speculation and believing of Molly’s multifarious lies and I understand that. That time is over now, and here is the other side of the coin. If you have questions of me personally, I’m all ears.

Ronnie

Molly’s mother, Susan, responded:

……..Hey Ronnie ~ Now take a deep breath, sit back and realize just who you are communicating with right now;  over the years you have grown to know me well enough that I see things pretty much the way they are; I’m not the enemy, nor am I the judge;  I also know there are always 2 sides to every ‘story’;  much of what you stated is true;  and any comments I wrote to Molly were in response to comments that she reported were made by you.  Deep down I felt those statements made by you were probably said in the heat of the moment because they just didn’t seem typical of what you would think or say.  But then sometimes people change. (I look at that picture of you on your email and think I have no idea who that person is.)

You both have been through some terrible and difficult times in the last 2 years.  Things have escalated to the point that neither of you are capable of seeing anything clear;  both of you are trying to change the other person into something they cannot be or choose not to be.  Last summer when I was here I had hoped to have a Jacob-type talk with Molly;  obviously it never happened due to the fact that she was so confused, frustrated and scared;  she was suddenly living with a stranger…..someone she didn’t know and had never seen before;  I had few facts but was aware that she was in contact with ‘the professionals’;  for over a year she has gone to bed every night with fear, and wakes up every morning with fear;  therefore, when she would come here to the beach it was an escape, and for her own state of mind and health I postponed any serious talks not wanting to add to the horrible and frightening state of mind she was in.  And your life also has been equally awful.

Things right now are called HUGHLY INFLAMED;  neither of you can say anything to the other that doesn’t provoke a demeaning ugly scene.  What you both need now is ….space;  you need a place away from her where you are not subjected to her anger and frustration….a place of quiet time, tension free, a place where its non challenging, a place where the eye of criticism does not exist; and she also needs the same thing.  For the time being I have one huge request for the betterment of all of you…leave that house – get your own place;  you know you still will have all the contact with the kids that you want.  Is it possible that you could get an apartment that could act as your office and your own private living space?  And do it quickly before more damage is done;  let these raging fires settle down;  no one knows what the future will bring, but the frame of mind you both are in nothing good or positive can come out of what is existing now.  Don’t make that move because some attorney’s papers are demanding it…do it because its the healthy and best thing for BOTH of you right now.  Repeat – you need your space…a quiet space;  and she does too.  After the 1st of the year I definitely plan on having that talk with her, and I also would like to visit with you.  Right now I have 3 favors to ask….

1 – This email remains private until I share it with Molly during our talk; (I don’t like going behind anyone’s back.)

2 – Accept this email as a friend to a friend…….have confidence in me and my judgement and don’t leap too quickly into any conclusions about what I am thinking.

3 – For your OWN sake – get out quickly, today, just take a few personal things, go a short distance away, lock the door, and just sit and relax and let the rage and fire that you feel settle down.

Many other things to say, Ronnie, but for now this is a start; I hope you can read and accept this email with the sincerity that it is sent.

My response to Susan:

Hi Susan,

I appreciate your response and I do accept your sincerity and don’t question it. As I said in my previous email, I have no ill-will toward either of you and still do not. Your response gives me an opportunity to hear where you are coming from. I appreciate you taking the time to respond.

In a nutshell, your asking me to leave our home as if I personally “need” it and for my “OWN” sake. Is that really the case?

Can you share with me what things I am doing to advocate me leaving our house?

You say “neither of you are capable of seeing anything clear” yet you affirm that much of what I write is true. Can you tell me what I’m not seeing clearly and if anything I have written is not true?

Can you tell me where I’m trying (perhaps you meant “striving”) to change Molly and differentiate that from simply presenting the truth to her or simply me taking my own personal stand?

Let me ask you, if Molly knew I was doing something in business that was against the law that I was previously unaware of would you not consider her telling me a good thing? Would that be her “trying” to change me? If she was right and I was wrong wouldn’t a certain amount of her “trying” be considered good?
If I were to resit that information, becoming angry and cause all sorts of noise over this should she be expected to leave the house along with leaving our children in my care simply because I make a big fuss about it, using my influence to discredit her?

Now, know this – I’m not striving to change Molly, at all. In fact, that is what has caused us both much grief (not that its too out of the ordinary for most marriages) over the years, us both wanting each other to fit into our personal perceptions of whats “best”.  The reality now is, I’m content, so to speak, with Molly being who she is, although I will not subject myself to her ways where I know them to be wrong for me. However, she is not fine me being who I am and it’s that simple. I don’t suggest this is an easy thing for her at all, or even possible for her to overcome in her own power. However, for me to abandon my home on these terms is simply not right and would perpetuate the very attitude and posture in Molly that she needs resistance in.

In response to you wrongful assumptions that I have any rage (which I do not at all) I simply say that you are mistaking the truth for hostility.  You either don’t believe what you are hearing entirely or if you do believe it you don’t want to accept it. Otherwise you’d never suggest me leave my family and would, instead, suggest Molly go away for a time and visit an anger management treatment facility. Or, perhaps you’d just recognize she needs to follow through with her divorce filings immediately, giving herself an opportunity to take a different course alone or to seek out another spouse. The issue here is we have children together that are not of age yet to make determinations of their own. To expect me to give up even a second of my time that should be allocated with them is  unacceptable. Maybe Molly needs to get an apartment she can go to at night after I’m home from work?  Did you read Eric’s letter? Do you understand or believe what effect a parents lies have on children? Do you not know Eric has been around, and closer to her than anyone else, seeing how both of us really are, and have been for some time, long before my “change”?

You say you are not a judge and are not the enemy but you are making a judgement, contrary to your assertions. However, I have no problem with you making a judgement – whatsoever. The issue is not in making a judgement but whether or not the judgement is right or not. In the event your judgement is is not right, then, unbeknownst to you, you are the enemy, yet not intentionally. Consider the words of Jesus:

John 7:24
(24)  Stop judging by outward appearance! Instead, judge correctly.”

Don’t let a little facial hair, amongst other things fool you! 

I’d like you to read the following. Molly and I have both been in contact with “professionals” and non-professionals alike.  This is what was shared with me after they observed and communicated with both Molly and I personally on multiple occasions.

[INCLUDED THE FOLLOWING LETTER]

Id’ be glad to meet with you in person to discuss whatever else you might want to. Just let me know.

Ronnie

I did not hear back from Susan.

The Divorce

On December 29, 2014, 6 days after Susan wrote to me, I received divorce papers at my office.

Two months later, while I was still living in our home tending to our children and all my normal responsibilities with them, Molly filed a motion with the court, asking for  a restraining order against me, specifying the following reasons:

Yet, two days after Molly filed this motion, she sent me the following text:

“People” meant our children. Molly had plans to leave Mobile during the middle of the week and was asking me to take off work to pick up the children from school at 2:30. She would be gone overnight and wouldn’t return for a couple days. She went to spend time with her mother at the beach. What happened to the religious cultist with whom the children were not safe?  Wouldn’t a couple days give me plenty of time to do something horrible to them? If she really believed I was in a true cult, she would never have done this.

Judge Rosemary Chambers responded to Molly’s motion, requesting she “amend the pleading to reflect with greater particularity what this religious cult involved.”  Could Molly give evidence for what she was talking about?

Molly never provided the specific evidence ordered by Judge Chambers.

I responded to Molly’s motion. You can read more here.

Jack Carney, Court Ordered Family Psychologist

On August 20, 2015, and as a result of Molly’s accusation that I was a danger to our children, the court appointed Jack Carney to “conduct a psychological family evaluation on the Plaintiff and Defendant and the child/children for purposes of making a recommendation to the Court regarding custody and visitation matters.”

Jack interviewed me, and then later Molly and our children. Jack sent me collateral questionnaires for people to fill out to help him determine a recommendation for child custody. I chose to send a copy to my sister (Tami), brother-in-law (Eric), and Molly’s mother. Tami and Eric completed them.

The full report from Eric and Tami can be seen here.

I told Jack my story, how I heard the truth about false religion and changed accordingly. I told Jack how Molly reacted and began poisoning the well with our children. He asked for examples of what Molly was doing in our home so I sent several I already had, and gathered more in the days following.

Audio Samples

December 7, 2014 6:11 p.m.
I was currently helping our daughter Ellie with her homework and smoking a chicken outside. This clip begins as I come inside.

February 3, 2015
Molly defines marriage.

April 23, 2015 1:24 a.m.
I’m asleep at 1:24 in the morning one Friday. Molly had woken me up by pounding on the door that I locked to limit her ability to harass me. She proceeds to let me know she will beat on the door until I come out.

August 15, 2015
I return home from work and Molly orders me to leave

August 18, 2015
Early one morning, I say goodbye to my daughter Ellie before leaving for work and Molly interjects.

August 17, 2015
I returned home from work at 6:30 with the recorder running and found Molly and William standing outside.

You can read the full correspondence with Molly that preceded this event here.

Jack’s final report was submitted to the court. His judgment was that I only be allowed supervised visits with my children, yet provided no substantiated evidence to support his decision. He recorded testimony from me, Molly, our children, Eric and Tami Johnson, Ham Barnett, Mike and Pat Reed, Tracy Votel, Victor Hafichuk, and Paul Cohen.

It was determined in the report that Molly was found to be answering the questions as she thought they should be answered, and not honestly.

I was required to pay all costs ($5,000) associated with the pleasure of this travesty, including Molly’s and the children’s interviews.

By the request of Molly’s attorney, and agreement from the court, the report was sealed.

Molly pressed for full custodial rights of our children with no visitation rights awarded to me. After it was clear that my children were persuaded by their mother, I agreed to this prior to the trial. The judge’s order was issued on October 21, 2015.

The Aftermath

Up to the point of the divorce and me leaving the home she continually expressed how bad she wanted me out of her and the children’s lives. But that wasn’t what she was after. She went all in, using the children as pawns knowing I cared for them, hoping that I might just move out and then stick around to be her nanny and remain in the children’s lives yet according to her dictates. She had manipulated the children to refuse me on anything that they didn’t want to hear. I was no longer their father.

She continued to email me after I left the home. Due to the frequency and nature of those emails, I asked my brother in law (Eric) and my sister (Tami) to filter them so I didn’t have to see them and in case I received something I needed to tend to.

After a couple months of receiving her emails my sister Tami confronted Molly. She also emailed Molly’s mother, Mike and Pat Reed, and others about what they had witnessed.

You can read the letters here:

Tami’s Letter to Molly

Tami’s Letter to Susan Votel

Tami’s Open Letter to All Involved in Ronnie and Molly Tanner’s Divorce

Wrap Up

Now, I ask you, those that have read, listened to, or watched what’s been published on this site, or have knowledge of anything I’ve said or done as it relates to Molly or our children:

What is my sin, my offense, my crime, my wrongdoing? Where is the illegality or immorality in my judgment of matters? Where are my rights as a father, husband and citizen of the United States to exercise freedom of expression, thought, speech, and religion in matters I have earnestly considered to be of importance and in the best interests of my loved ones? How have I offended morally, socially, psychologically, religiously, spiritually, financially, parentally, ethically, or any other way that I should be condemned by my wife, her sympathizers, spiritual mentors, and the court? What evidence, hard OR soft, is there against me?

Does this document with all the auxiliary information not cause someone, anyone, to wonder just what has been going on? Has not all that is thought, felt, and said against me by people involved been based solely on hearsay and not on fact? Surely, there must be someone in authority who can see and understand that justice has not been served.

As God is my witness, I have done nothing to provoke or invite or even suggest a divorce. I tried hard to prevent one, but in good conscience, I wasn’t able or prepared to compromise on what I learned and earnestly believed to be right and true. And that applied to my relationship with my children as well. Molly fearfully took them hostage soon in to this process and in due time they became alienated from me. They didn’t want to be separated from their dad, but I was no longer giving them all the things they were accustomed to so they really didn’t have any use for me as their father. They wanted me to follow them, and not the other way around as it should be.

Ronnie Tanner

Conclusion

No one gets married hoping it ends in divorce, especially when young children are involved. What can one learn from this account?

This was more than a divorce case. This was a spiritual battle of light and darkness, an ongoing one that needs to be and will be fought by all. You decide who was on what side and where you stand.

Both sides claim to believe in God, and more particularly, to follow the Lord Jesus Christ. Which one lives according to the teachings and example of Jesus Christ? Which is the child of light opposed by a child of darkness?

The one who divorces her husband because he won’t celebrate worldly holy-days (which none of the apostles or believers in the Scriptures observed)?

Jeremiah 10:2-6 ESV
(2)  Thus says the LORD: “Learn not the way of the nations, nor be dismayed at the signs of the heavens because the nations are dismayed at them,
(3)  for the customs of the peoples are vanity. A tree from the forest is cut down and worked with an axe by the hands of a craftsman.
(4)  They decorate it with silver and gold; they fasten it with hammer and nails so that it cannot move.
(5)  Their idols are like scarecrows in a cucumber field, and they cannot speak; they have to be carried, for they cannot walk. Do not be afraid of them, for they cannot do evil, neither is it in them to do good.”
(6)  There is none like you, O LORD; You are great, and Your Name is great in might.

The one who divorces her husband because he chooses not to spend money they don’t have paying country club dues?

“Let your manner of life be without covetousness; and be content with such things as you have: for He has said, I will never leave you, nor forsake you” (Hebrews 13:5 Webster).

The one who divorces her husband because he doesn’t want his daughters (or wife) publicly displaying their bodies in the equivalent of underwear and bras at a country club?

“Likewise also that the women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with propriety and discretion” (1 Timothy 2:9 EMTV).

The one who divorces her husband because he can’t afford private school and she couldn’t be bothered sharing the duty of homeschooling the children, though she’s at home all day and her husband works full time?

“Wives, likewise, subject yourselves to your own husbands…” (1 Peter 3:1 EMTV).

The one who divorces her husband because he wants to eat clean food and is steering his family away from expensive restaurants and junk food?

“Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands, as to the Lord” (Ephesians 5:22 MKJV).

The one who divorces her husband because she disagrees with God and His Word, and won’t be told otherwise because her church and spiritual mentor teaches and approves of the woman exercising spiritual headship over her husband and family?

“But even if we, or an angel from heaven, should preach a gospel to you other than what we preached to you, let him be accursed” (Galatians 1:8 EMTV).

1 Corinthians 14:34-37 WEB
(34)  Let the wives be quiet in the assemblies, for it has not been permitted for them to be talking except in submission, as the Law also says,
(35)  if they desire to learn anything. “Let them ask their own husbands at home, for it is shameful for a wife to be talking in the assembly.”
(36)  What!? Was it from you that the Word of God went out? Or did it come to you alone?
(37)  If any man thinks himself to be a prophet, or spiritual, let him recognize the things which I write to you, that they are the commandment of the Lord.

The one who stands against and divorces her husband for all these selfish reasons and then blames him for standing in the truth as a “cultist”?

“And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband” (1 Corinthians 7:10 KJV).

The wife who by slander and false accusation seeks to alienate from her husband, his children, family, friends, and anyone who would listen to her?

“‘Cursed be anyone who strikes down his neighbor in secret.’ And all the people shall say, ‘Amen’” (Deuteronomy 27:24 ESV).

The wife who justifies her children cursing their father, having taught them by example and attitude to do so?

“Whoever curses his father or his mother shall be put to death” (Exodus 21:17 ESV).

“‘‘Cursed be anyone who dishonors his father or his mother.’ And all the people shall say, ‘Amen’” (Deuteronomy 27:16 ESV).

2 Timothy 3:1-5 MKJV
(1)  Know this also, that in the last days grievous times will be at hand.
(2)  For men will be self-lovers, money-lovers, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy,
(3)  without natural affection, unyielding, false accusers, without self-control, savage, despisers of good,
(4)  traitors, reckless, puffed up, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God,
(5)  having a form of godliness, but denying the power of it; even turn away from these.

“And the light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not overtake it” (John 1:5 MKJV).

Paul Cohen